Thursday, December 20, 2012

Dear diary 19-12-12 – revisiting trauma of neglect from my dad

[writing the day after the event] I didn’t want to start today processing the trauma of yesterday, as each new day really is best lived as a fresh new day, not carrying over the burdens of yesterday, right? However, it’s also best not to leave emotional wounds open & festering, unprocessed & undealt with. I was simply too tired to process it properly yesterday, even though I weakly tried whilst attempting to fall asleep…

. .. 
O Papa, help me keep perspective! You know how easily I would tend to take this one incident, compounding it with other similar incidents in my life & blow it out of proportion that all such episodes define the sum total of my life .. i.e. that I am an accident waiting to happen .. I am stupid. Period. I never learn. Such powerful ‘I’ statements, each one deeply wounding a spirit that is still in the process of recovering from past trauma.

* Abba God, I want Your thoughts & feelings toward me to define me. Keep me tined into Your joyful love song of delight You sing over me every moment I live & breathe as You delight in this son You’ve been leased to make Your own, knowing that none of my

* Abba God, please, please help me stay in this process of Yours, letting each day be part of a larger process, relaxing in what is & hoping for what’s yet to be and being at peace as Yours work in me unfolds!

. . . anyone who wants to read the full story drop me an email

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