thoughts ...

been feeling kind of aimless & fruitless . . . feel like i'm wasting more time lately :(

hungry for God this morning i was about to go through my usual morning routine of digging into His Word but i couldn't find my bible :

felt like Father was saying to me "can we have relationship that doesn't revolve around a book?"
"sure thing!" was my reply.

don't get me wrong, i'm not about to set out on a heresy-trip, but if God is a Living Person, surely we can relate to Him as a Living Person & not bind our interaction with Him entirely to ritualistically reading His Letter & saying the same old prayers over & over again!

i'm tired of the box organised religion has put God in as a being we can only relate to based on a list of "do's & dont's" . . .
i, for one, have failed, am failing & will always fail to do what i "should" & not do what i "shouldn't".

yet again i despair of myself & confess with Paul that "I know that nothing good lives in me; that is, nothing good lives in my corrupt nature. Although I have the desire to do what is right, I don't do it." Romans 7:18

all this confirms that i'm still a man in need of a Saviour!
HOORAY!! THE SAVIOUR HAS COME - His Name is Emmanuel - 'God with us!"
even at my worst, The One I've offended is NOW the safest One to be with because He's saved Me!

so my relationship with Father is NOW no longer about my performance or lack of it!

O, how I need to continually rest in His provision for me, being ever careful not to abuse it as a license for sin but as the Greatest Motivator to live loved & love!

. . . the blessing of being disabled & having low energy is because it reduces what i can do, it de-clutters my life so i can focus more on Him :) but O, how easy it is to clutter life with other "things' that distract me from Him!

would you please pray for me - stay focussed on RELATIONSHIP with Him [not religion!] & to make the most of every moment, walking with Father in This Great Adventure called "LIFE" & stop falling back into religious thinking / living. Aeigh, still a recovering Pharisee.. =(


some lyrics He put on mind to share: Mind's Eye – DC Talk
You know what I'm going through
I know that it's true
Cause you've stood in my shoes
Desire's inside of me
But, it's hard to believe
In what you cannot see
Can you catch the wind?
See a breeze?
It's presence is revealed by the leaves on a tree
An image of my faith in the unseen
In my mind's eye
I see Your face
You smile
As You show me grace
In my mind's eye
You take my hand
We walk through foreign lands
The foreign lands of life
In my mind
I'm where I belong
As I rest in Your arms
And like a child I hold on to you
In my moment of truth
We can ride the storm
Endure the pain
You comfort me in my hurricane
And I'll never be alone again
Can you catch the wind?
Can you see the breeze?
In my mind I can see Your face
Love pours down in a shower of grace
Life is a gift that You choose to give
And I believe that we eternally live
Faith is the evidence of things unseen
People tell me that You're just a dream
But they don't know you the way that I do
You're the one I live to pursue