[and O, how very limited i am!]
.. that trusting in what i can see is a VERY limiting way to live!
i was out mowing with dad yesterday - everywhere the grass is growing crazy! after finishing our 3rd house, the car was _full_ of bags of grass with (seemingly) no room for more. then dad tells me we're going to a new place.
"can we dump the grass there?" i ask.
"no, we'll take it away." dad replies.
"how?! there's no room for more!" say i.
"don't worry, i'll make a way" dad says.
. . . in disbelief i thought "no way."
To me the car seemed full with no more room for anymore big bags of grass ...
.. . or so it seemed! then by an amazing act of space engineering, dad managed to fit another big bag in!
after we finished our 4th house, dad tells me we'll do one more. So again i ask,
"can we dump the grass there?"
again dad treplies, "no, we'll take it away."
"but the cars full, dad!
"i know what i'm doing!"
so after our 5th house, dad manages yet again to fit another big bag in! of course he could. he always does!
"dad, you're amazing! i don't know how you did it, but you did!"
Dad always knows what he's doing - but why do i fail so often to simply trust him?
This is an ugliness far worse than any ugliness that comes from physical aging - the ugliness of losing the simple, childlike trust in Father that doesn't question, talk back, or second-guess.
i can't imagine how much i've hurt my father's heart by the many times & many ways i've questioned, talked back, or second-guessed Him :"(
father is good.
father is wise
father is strong [much more than me anyway!]
who am i to question or doubt him when all my life, he's shown himself to be nothing but good, wise and strong. (even if at times i seriously doubted his goodness / wisdom / strength :S ]
makes no sense huh?
. . . praying for the grace to grow in childlike faith & stop acting towards father as if i knew any better! far out, what arrogance!
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