i confess i'm still dissatisfied with my relationship with Father. i hunger for reality, to truly know Him so much more than i do, than through interaction with a book & superficial exchanges with others inside the four walls of a religious insitutional building... :Slook at the moon . . . I wanna be just like that ^__^ (that is, brightly reflecting a glory not my own, simply faithfully reflecting His glorious light to all =) -- i'm not an very faithful or bright reflector tho :"(
precious brothers & sisters, do pray for me!!
i'm ever thankful to Father for putting you into my life :D
this life is definitely not an easy journey, but it sure is ever exciting & worth it =)
sorry if this mail doesn't really 'fill you in' on what's been going on in his precious life He's given me, if you want to know more just ask~! my life's an open book ;)
i'm trying to be real with Father, resisting the urges to crawl into my shell and silently endure lifelessness. i've substituted many things for the power of His love :"(
i long for Him to show me how my diligent efforts at good works for Him may be obscuring His love for me!
- i'm ever being brought low by fresh realisations of my own stupidity & selfishness, covered by "good intentions" :(
- so often i don't take care of myself because i've believed the lie i'm nothing worth taking care of :"( ... an age old demon still lingering from my teenage years, despite having more than enough evidence that i am very greatly loved & of high value~!!
. . . what is wrong with me?! Oh, how i long to be free from me!
:D rejoice with me~! :D
:D bringing *just* the right books into my life at the right time!! latest good book i've devoured:
http://www.jakecolsen.com/contents.html (here you can download two new PDF versions + a PDA version that can be read with Microsoft Reader. Translations are also available in Russian, Dutch, French German, and Spanish
:D His Truth always triumphs over lies!!
:D i'm weak & foolish, but He's Almighty & all wise~!
:D He's answering my prayers & leading me deeper into His love!
:D He's committed to freeing me from the tyranny of self, for only then can i enjoy God's resources and discover just how generous He really is!
:D He wants to lead me and help me trust Him even through the most brutal circumstances.
:D Because Father takes such incredible care of us, we no longer have to live self-focused lives. Thus it will be easier for us to see ways He wants us to help others!
:D There is nothing so terrible that He cannot work into His plan for our lives.
:D If He doesn't give me something i want, it's because I really don't need it!
:D God does not live in our imagined futures!
:D _lavishing_ me with the liberating joy of losing "good things " in life so i can get God's BEST!
:D less incidences of "rubbish sleep"~!!!!
*PRAY FOR ME*
* Spirit of Truth, come in & consume me. empty me of all the lies i've believed, fill me with Your Truth!
* i'd cease from my stupidity of trying to "go it alone" - i'd keep coming back to Him in every small or big thought / decision / action & the living treasures of wisdom He's surrounded me with~!
Won’t it be a joy again to wake up confident about being loved by God every day, without having to earn it by any act of righteousness on your part? This is the secret to first love: don’t try to earn it. Know that you are accepted and loved, not for what you can do for God, or somehow hoping that you will be worthy of His acceptance, but because His greatest desire is to have you as one of His children. Jesus came to remove any obstacle that would prevent that from happening.
In this Kingdom you really do get what you seek. That is the point to the whole thing. If you’re looking for a relationship with God, you will find it.
* i'd keep on abandoning my agendas & embracing His!
* i'd live every moment to the maximum, making much of Jesus & stop wasting time on dumb things!
* thoughts of Him would consume me & i'd stop thinking so much about food / all the mental rubbish i've accumulated over the years!
* i'd find my sustenance in doing the will of the One who sent me, finishing the work He started!
* wisdom to take care of myself (my worst subject in life!!) - to know my limits and not take on too much >_<
* help me delegate where i can & not be stupid by trying to take on everything myself!
* i'd learn to feast on Jesus as Life itself, to truly know the reality that our hearts desperately long for.
* i'd stop wasting energy being frustrated over past events or worried about future ones and use energy to draw near to Him and learn to listen to his heartbeat instead!
* i'd abandon my "right" to decide what is good or not good for myself.
* i'd die to the right to judge anything on my terms and learn to live out of my relationship to Father.
* i'd learn to simply be thankful in everything including the storms that rage in my own mind and watch in awe as He uses them as opportunities to teach me to walk on water.
As long as we live to our own agenda, even what we think God might desire for us, we will miss out on the very life he is giving to us. I find my prayers changing from “God, change this!” to “Father, how are you working in this for your glory?”
When we die to the right to determine good and evil for ourselves we find the freedom to feast on the tree of Life. No longer growing frustrated when our comfort zones burst, we are free to see His purpose unfold and not be bogged down by our agenda. Now we are free to live in His life, not be plagued by our own agenda.
* i'd not determine what good i want or what evil i must prevent in the future & so be prevented from manipulating everything and everyone around me!
* the power of his cross would Free me to Live In the Moment!
* i'd be increasingly skeptical of my own agenda and preferences. Instead of wasting all my efforts trying to sculpt my life the way i want it, i’ll find the joy of living in the middle of His purpose working out in me. i’ll be able to embrace Him and His work in me as easily in times of trouble as in times of ease. And by standing in his unfolding purpose i’ll know the truest joy of being His son in the world!
* i'd start everyday without my own preferences for how I want things to turn out, to be constantly amazed at what God is doing in my life and genuinely thankful at every turn!
* Everyday Father lets me taste of His generous love, He'd show me how He wants to channel His generosity through me to touch others! see great article here! http://www.lifestream.org/LSBL.Aug05.html
AN OPEN INVITE TO ALL: if you care about me & love me, please tell me anytime you see something wrong in my life! where do you see faults in my life / character? What areas would you like to see me grow & change by God’s grace?” -- all part of me obeying 1 Tim 4:16 which is too easy to neglect with such dire consequences!!
thanks~!! please tell me how i can best support you before His throne of Grace too!
if Father so leads you to be my regular prayer supporter, do check out this prayer blog every now & then :)
Looking forward to hearing from you how i can best support you in prayer & praises!!
watch here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEVNJsL0Zq4
You Are Being Loved Steven Curtis Chapman
1. So you think love is only for the good enough And one thing you’re never gonna be worthy of But there’s a song being sung over you By the One who breathes life into you
Chorus:
You are being loved You are being loved Right now at this very moment You are being loved You are being loved Right now you are being loved, loved, loved You are being loved, loved You are
2. You ought to see the smile you’re bringing to your Father’s face You ought to hear Him sing His version of Amazing Grace ‘cause that’s the song being sung over you By the God who breathes life into you (Chorus)
Bridge:
With every breath that you’re taking And every beat of your heart Even while this song is playing Whatever you do Wherever you are There’s a song being sung over you
(Chorus x 3)
© SPARROW SONG; PEACH HILL SONGS;
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